STATEMENTS ONE-LINERS AND SHORT TEXT
Pieces of text with a touch of humor.

I'm not fat, I'm just easy to see.

* * * 

Men are like cakes,
you get fat of both of them.

* * * 

"Better an empty cup,
than a empty head."
Calimero

* * * 

It's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle,
than it is for you to pick up that needle.

* * * 

"I don't believe in fairy-tales"
She said, and starts her broom.

* * * 

To an officer when you drove too hard:
A colleague of yours showed a picture and said:
"Do you know this boy?"
I panicked and drove away.



"Don't pay such attention to her appearance.
She's got beautiful eyes.
Especially the middle one."

* * * 

Ignorance gives opportunity to learn.

* * * 

What do you mean Apple Crumble. Admit it.
Your Apple pie didn't work out.

* * * 

Sometimes it's disappointing,
sometimes it's very disappointing.

* * * 

If your vehicle goes faster than the speed of light,
your headlights are useless.

* * * 

I had my doubts to go to the Association for Reincarnation.
Then I thought to myself: "Just have a look.
After all, you only live once."

* * * 

When you worked a lot today, and starting to yawn,
then tonight, you are quickly gone.

* * * 

I'm not getting older.
The world is turning faster!

* * * 

People used to walk all over me.
But now I'm stronger.
Now I ask them to take off their shoos first...

* * * 

He always wants the last word. I don't mind.
I always confirm his last word with: "That's o.k."

* * * 


I often suffered from disappointing feelings.
I followed a course for that.
Unfortunately, they often did not go through.

* * * 

Sometimes I complain and say:: "No one listens to me."
Then they answer: It"s cold outside, you shuld put on a coat."

* * * 

Conversation:
"I don't need a hearing-aid!"
"That's not what I asked, I asked if you wanted something to drink."

* * * 

Whispering to a horse is easy to do.
It becomes more complicated when the horse whispers back:
"I can't hear you."

* * * 

The whole night I was thinking about the word: Insomnia.

* * * 

The Bake contest is not really a bakery.
Although it was all dough everywhere you looked.

* * * 

I woke up last night at 3:14 a.m. I was not hapPI.

* * * 

Nurse: "Where's your dentures?"
Patient: "On the counter, the glass that smiles at you."

* * * 

I worked at the M&M's factory.
I was allowed to stamp the 'm' on it.
Very varied work, each time a different color.

* * * 

An incident has taken place in a zoo abroad.
A caretaker was cleaning the hutch of the elephants,
when an elephant went down a bit.
This caused the caregiver's head to get stuck in the elephant's butt.
After some hits on the backside of the elephant, he was able to free himself again.
The elephant is doing well according to circumstances.video

* * * 

Two birds fly through the sky, one says to the other:
Do you know a sport?
Suddenly they come across a window. One could just avoid him,
the other is not.

* * * 

They say that if you are gifted, you can speak very early.
So when mother and child have recovered a bit from the delivery,
the child turns his head and says to the mother: Everything went well, didn't it?

* * * 


It's past twelve...
Seven past twelve.

* * * 

If you know a little biology and you want to express your frustration to someone,
without using wrong words. You can solve it in the following way:

Recessive dominant heterozygote!
How is your Golgi apparatus?
Have you counted your mitochondria yet? cell wall!
Do a bit genetic? cell nucleus!
Walk upright, Homosapien!

It's a relief.